Wendy Lerman Blog

An addendum to the website http://www.wendylerman.com

Monday, June 27, 2011

Say "Cheese!"

We have all taken pictures or have had our picture taken over the years so we know the drill—“Smile” “Say Cheese”—right? I wonder who came up with the idea that when a camera is pointed in our direction, it is our duty to smile for the camera. Go ahead, look at some photo albums and see for yourself how happy everyone appears to be. See? All your life you were well adjusted and happy. I can prove it-look at the pictures!

Last night I was watching something on TV where a child was obviously not happy but his parent pointed the camera and requested the child to pretend to be happy—and then documented it for life.

There’s a fine line when it comes to the saying “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Don’t fake smile for the camera anymore.

I propose a change. Start documenting the truth. If you’re the one taking the picture and your subject is not happy at the moment, don’t ask them to pretend. They are simply lying to not only the whole world, but themselves. If you want them to smile then it’s your responsibility—your duty— to say/do something funny. For some people, it’s as easy as just saying the word DUTY!


posted by Wendy Lerman @ 11:45 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I'm OK With the Mess-Are You?

While I have many topics— via stories— to share, they are all incomplete— where they shall wait until I make the time, find the energy and create a space. If I create the space first, perhaps the time and energy will follow¬***

One of my stories involves events from yesterday and shall be titled “Welcome to District Seven”, due in large part by the fact that Peter and I went there on a spontaneous date. As a result, many thoughts unraveled during my dining experience and led me to some more revelations, AKA “AHA!” moments. Luckily for me, by chance, I came armed with pen and notepad and Peter, once again was witness as I disappeared in thought right before his eyes. As I finished documenting my thoughts, I looked up and Peter was gone. For a moment I panicked and also wondered how long I remained in this trance until I saw him walking towards the table and realized he stepped away to give me some time and space. Thank you Peter! Xoxo

It had been a long and busy day and we arrived home both pretty—for me both physically and mentally— exhausted. As I walked in the door, my house was, once again, and utter and complete mess. It came as no surprise and was pretty much the same as I left it. I become stressed and overwhelmed by such things and for the life of me, I cannot find anything!

Maybe that’s why I left it. I didn’t want to deal with it! I wanted to be anywhere but at home because I didn’t feel at home in my own home. Normally this would be my breaking point and I would never be able to go to bed or relax in the midst of such mess. I would have to, once again, push myself to do chores until I was satisfied enough to temporarily let it go. Didn’t I just go through this last week? I fully acknowledge take responsibility for most of it!

I needed to change my clothes before I did anything. All I wanted to do was hit the couch for a while with Peter and unwind before bed. The walk to the bedroom was excruciating. Each step I took opened my eyes to every messy disgusting detail along the way. I cringed with each step I took, thinking about how I just got it all under control and with the blink of an eye it’s back!

As I changed my clothes and plotted about which things I would quickly tackle enough to put my mind at ease, it occurred to me—I need to learn to find my way through the mess and still be ok***

Life gets messy at times and we can’t always fix it right away. There are going to be times where we need to adjust and be ok despite the mess. If we practice this and succeed in being ok with the mess, imagine how we can be without it***



posted by Wendy Lerman @ 9:15 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Painful Joy

As I alternate between wiping the tears long enough to see what I’m typing, I am in pain yet filled with such pride-and-joy. I wonder how I got here and where has the time gone? Such mixed emotions I have.

This morning I watched as my son and nephew packed the car for the weekend. A group of seniors are going on their first solo camping trip ever. This will be their first adult venture and I’m sure their time will be spent horsing around like children. In a matter of days my son will be packing for college and life will never be the same for either of us.

Children— I used to have them but now I have one adult and one teenager on the verge of emerging into adolescence and I am so sad, and I am so happy. I am so sad because I don’t know where the time went and I feel like I missed some of it. Did I spend too much time on autopilot just going through the motions? Can’t I just rewind time so I can spend it savoring each age, each milestone?


I am so sad when I should be so happy, after all—I’m alive and was afforded this opportunity to be witness to the transformation happening before my eyes. What will become of these beautiful souls? Will they marry? Have children? Save the world? I want nothing more than to see it to fruition.
I understand the empty nest syndrome. Thank you God for allowing me to experience this painful joy~


posted by Wendy Lerman @ 12:49 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Thursday, June 02, 2011


As summed up by the author of Eat, Pray and Love, this very profound conclusion has been discovered by myself and countless others. The journey to discovery entailed hard work and faith and it is my wish that all of you discover yours.

"If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally--and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue-, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher-, and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be witheld from you".




posted by Wendy Lerman @ 11:05 PM 0 Comments Links to this post