Wendy Lerman Blog

An addendum to the website http://www.wendylerman.com

Monday, December 20, 2010

ISO some light to shine upon our initiative.

Searching for light to shine upon www.angiosarcomaawareness.org

I’m just your average single mother of two whose life has been complicated by four cancer diagnoses. I battled your average but aggressive breast cancer, two melanomas, and a rare cancer known as AS (Angiosarcoma). Rare diseases exist with most being life threatening or terminal. No significant focus on research geared to the development for cure or prevention is being conducted for the fact that rare disease does not affect enough of the population.

A few women with this rare cancer, AngioSarcoma (AS) found each other online in search of support —in search of trying to find a living AS survivor who could offer some hope that perhaps they will be lucky enough to survive for at least another year. After communicating online and by phone, these women decided they wanted to meet in person for a nice social evening to include the kind of support you can only get from someone who has, or is, walking in your shoes. The expectations of that evening were not only met, but shifted into something unexpected and so much bigger. These women decided that if they wanted to live and to help others, then they would have to take matters into their own hands and create the way. In less than 4 months, these women have secured a world-renown laboratory, at Memorial Sloan- Kettering, obtained research scientists, and have to date raised almost 200k— which will fund the first year of the project. In addition, this patient-driven initiative has created a source of inspiration locally within the few and scattered communities in which these women reside. The strength, hope, determination and fighting spirit needed to battle a deadly disease is all-consuming. To take on such a project in addition, and with no experience, in an all out effort to create a movement toward awareness, is perhaps history in the making.

While our main goals may be apparent, we also aspire to inspire others to recognize that potential to achieve what they want or need is attainable and available for all who seek.

In regards to our research project and promising results for our type-specific disease, an even more compelling possibility exists and is listed in our broad scale implications:

By unlocking the processes that drive angiosarcoma, we may be able to apply that knowledge to targeting the aberrant process of angiogenesis associated with tumor initiation in other cancers. The development of therapies that inhibit angiosarcoma may then be of benefit in fighting other solid tumors (common cancers).

Those familiar words we survivors yearn to hear are remission and NED (NO Evidence of Disease) but we all strive and long to hear the word CURE!

The bottom line is that while on the surface our mission may seem insignificant to the vast population, beneath the surface is potential for positive impact on millions— a compelling reason of which to shine a light upon.

posted by Wendy Lerman @ 12:18 PM 1 Comments

Sunday, December 19, 2010

New book to take priority.

Writing of my current book-on hold. Inspiration for a much needed children's book has surfaced and must take priority for the next month. "If we fight the current once the doors open, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves." Wendy Lerman

WL&L (With Love and Light, also my initials:-) )


posted by Wendy Lerman @ 7:48 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Music: Just another resource

I’ve said it before and I'll say it again -music feeds the soul. The power of music is oftentimes underestimated. The many benefits for health and wellness it creates involves eliciting a state of mind via emotions which are key to the unlimited potential to heal- because it helps us feel.

Obviously you don’t have to write nor play music to reap the benefits. And maybe it’s not as simple as just listening to it because you really have to hear it. What music can elicit from us is feeling: mad, sad, happy, peaceful or elated. A song may make you want to laugh, cry, yell, sing, dance, clean, miss someone, run, meditate, walk, write, paint... Whatever the case may be, it inspires or inclines us to do, say, think or feel something. And while it may make us feel emotions that are not pleasant, it’s still a good thing because that should be considered a start or a clue. You can’t leave it that! Unpleasant feelings that arise via a trigger- arise FOR A REASON. For us to explore-DIG, Resolve, and heal!

My sister Lisa created a CD for me using songs that made her think of me. She is one of the very few who really know me. I thought I lost the CD but it has recently surfaced.

A majority of people wouldn’t give it a second thought but I know this CD resurfaced for a reason. I have come to accept myself for always looking for meaning in everything. I realize so many criticize people like me for saying things like “There’s a reason for everything” . I used to be one of them! I have now made the difficult decision to stop trying to defend or prove this theory. Most times the reason won’t become apparent for quite a while. It’s simply the fact that we must have faith. Faith seems to be rare and I am so afraid it will become extinct. For me, I have gotten my share of proof. Irrefutable proof that I cannot prove in any standard scientific method, but proof enough that I know without any doubt. There are plenty of people who also know what I do and it brings me such comfort and feelings of validation. It saddened me that I even needed validation until recently. I finally came to the realization that I actually did not need it, rather I wanted it.

The man that I created children with is extremely stunted in spirit growth. While I cannot prove the following statement, I still believe it with my whole being that-I would not be alive to write this if I had remained in the un-evolving and toxic relationship with that man. I am not implying that he IS evil, but he can behave that way and does not possess the potential to cohabitate with a soul that was put here for a higher purpose. “We are not humans having spiritual experiences, we are spirits having human experiences” (Author unknown). For our spirit to evolve, we must learn via our experiences.

He has done and said some pretty hurtful things to me. He has also said many things to me and about me that are simply not true. It really used to bother me immensely. The negative impact it had on my emotional and physical health confirms just how much the mind and body are connected. Unpleasant feelings surfaced and I didn’t do the digging to find the way to resolve and heal for quite some time. Thankfully I did it in time!

From time to time I can hear his voice uttering “Oh come on now, who is ever going to want you, the cancer patient, scars everywhere, 2 children, messy house”. “You’re just using your cancer as a crutch. Face it, you’re just lazy”.

The most crucial decision I ever made was to rid myself from his grip. The strength and endurance I needed to grasp in order to accomplish this came from being diagnosed with cancer. My will to live surfaced from the ultimate wake-up call of my life.

I listened to my CD yesterday and never knew this song was on here. The following song by Madonna is genious:

You think that I can't live without your love
You'll see,
You think I can't go on another day.
You think I have nothing
Without you by my side,
You'll see
Somehow, some way

You think that I can never laugh again
You'll see,
You think that you destroyed my faith in love.
You think after all you've done
I'll never find my way back home,
You'll see
Somehow, someday


All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know I'll survive
I know I'll stay alive,
All on my own
I don't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see

You think that you are strong, but you are weak
You'll see,
It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat.
I have truth on my side,
You only have deceit
You'll see, somehow, someday


All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know I'll survive
I know I'll stay alive,
I'll stand on my own
I won't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see

You'll see, you'll see
You'll see, mmmm, mmmm

posted by Wendy Lerman @ 11:22 AM 0 Comments