Answers: Not always as they appear.
Not long after treating for my first cancer, I began to notice some symptoms I was having were getting worse. I researched to come up with some theories, sought help from my (former) doctor and she suspected I had Hypothyroidism and ran some tests.
When my tests came back normal I became frustrated because I knew something was wrong. When this happens I can be perceived by doctors as many things and none of them are good. Perhaps I fall under a stereotype and while that makes me angry, I understand how conditioned this world is to them.
As my symptoms seemed to ease up or became more manageable once spring came, I let the issue go. I began to see patterns. Once fall rolled around, I found myself back to the drawing board and changing doctors a few times. I was convinced there was an issue with my Thyroid. Not only did my research lead me to believe this, my gut feelings were relentless.
I thought I needed to begin taking Thyroid meds. Each doctor disagreed because my tests were normal and I suspect they suspected that I wanted the meds for the wrong reasons. I came up with a theory and clearly stated to more than one doctor “I realize my levels are normal, but what if MY normal is zero? Maybe MY normal is different.” Well suffice to say I was disregarded.
Summer ended a few years back and I could not bear the thought of enduring what seemed like endless suffering through yet another winter. I was at my breaking point and e-mailed my Oncologist threatening to self-medicate unless he found someone who was going to help me.
I was referred by my Oncologist to another Endocrinologist and from the moment she walked into the room I sensed something different. As we went through my symptoms and extensive medical history, she informed me that she was not only going to run the same standard labs, but also another lab that was unfamiliar to me. She wondered out loud why nobody else thought to run it and also saw no harm in starting me out on a low dose med to see how I respond while we wait for the results.
I left the office feeling a sense of relief and now the wait— for the results— was on.
I’ll never forget the phone call I received disclosing my results. Normal levels for this test are 0-20. My levels were 3,974! Since I hadn’t yet done my research, I asked what this meant exactly and was told that while my standard test results were normal, meaning my body was producing normal levels of thyroid hormones, I have (an insane amount of) antibodies attacking them so my body doesn’t recognize them—and that—MY normal is different. My normal should be 0 or as close to it as possible— and I needed meds.
And on that day I was diagnosed with an autoimmune Thyroid disease known as Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. On that day I was validated. On that day I decided to help others who walk in similar shoes to find their own validation.
Now —on the flip side, the story continues…
I was now on the meds but had issues with taking them—more like remembering to take them. I truly dislike having to be dependent on anything (or anyone for that matter) and I decided to stop taking the meds—determined to find another way. I sought help from a doctor who incorporates holistic medicine into her practice. While the method to help me entailed taking pills, they were simple yet complex whole food supplements that helped so I made the extra effort to continue on this course (and to this day I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it). However, this method, my being on a fixed income trying to make it work— coupled with my lack of discipline in remembering to take my pills as scheduled—led me astray and back to the drawing board.
Shortly after my hospitalization in February of this year— http://wendylerman.blogspot.com/2011/02/from-rabbit-hole-to-aha-moment.html — I saw my Endocrinologist and she informed me that my levels were bordering on the severe side and the need for me to begin taking Thyroid meds is now.
I was inclined to plead my case by disclosing the fact that I was to begin my Reiki certification and would like the chance to practice on myself — instead— I stated that I would prefer to hold off just a little longer “just because”. Truth is, I didn’t care if she supported my decision— maybe she would, I just wasn’t in the mood to take a chance that perhaps she might not give me “that look” once the word reiki came of my mouth.
The timing was perfect as doc was just going on maternity leave and agreed to re-check my levels the minute she returned. I agreed that if my levels were the same or higher, I would begin taking meds.
I had a few months to work with. I completed and was certified in two levels of Reiki and began practicing on myself from the start. Boy does time fly! The next thing I knew I was sitting back in Doc’s office anxiously waiting for her to walk in the room and disclose my test results.
I saw her blink a few times as though she wasn’t seeing clearly as she peered into the computer. I was literally holding my breath until I heard the words “Your levels are down and lower than they’ve ever been. There is no cause for you to begin taking meds. Now tell me, what have you done?.”
This doctor is not only on-board, but now plans on taking reiki classes to become certified— herself.
There are always answers and decisions to be made. Conclusions can be made and they can also be altered. Finding what makes sense to YOU is key. Always remember that answers do not always coincide with “logic” because the definition of logic up for interpretation.
Answers are not always as they appear.
With love and light,