Confronting 71-A

The struggles I’ve faced in the past, the ones I presently face and the ones I will face in the future all have, or will have, meaning. I can choose not to share any of my experiences or insight and believe me, sometimes I don’t want to, but I know doing this is part of my purpose-to plant seeds. What anyone may or may not pick up is their choice and out of my hands.

There are many who ridicule my ways and may not think too highly of me. I knew to expect it. This very thing is what has been holding me back since 71-A and that’s a very long time!

How I think of it is very different from how I feel. How I figured it out was by doing a lot of work, going back many years. I heard the (unofficial) therapist in me asking “and how does this make you feel?” Well, I feel conflicted at times. On the one hand I am fortunate enough to see (or hear) how I have helped others in some big or small way. On the other hand, I am sometimes made to feel exactly how I felt when I was in 71A, different and almost non-conforming. I have been avoiding a confrontation with a seventh grade experience! It almost sounds silly to say. It defined me and it took years for me to revisit because it was buried (repressed) so deep that I forgot. Because I did the work I was able to find the source. I also found and uncovered a lot more and will either share them when the time is right, or save them for my book.

To think that some of our current day struggles directly relate to childhood experiences is not a new concept. It is however one that we often choose not to make time for. My hope is that by me sharing what I uncovered and how I learned and grew from them, perhaps others will do the same for themselves.

I went through the stages of grief from a seventh grade experience— Sadness, depression, anger and lots and lots of resentment. All the “what ifs” and how different my life would have been if only! What I have come to realize is that yes, my life would have been different and perhaps I would have went on to medical school. Perhaps I would have been a professor at MIT or Harvard. Perhaps I would be published and world renown as someone who contributed to the greater good of mankind. As we all know, that didn’t happen but what I have come to realize is that I had a direction in life that has not changed, only the road I took to get there.

I am human just like the rest of us. I continue to make mistakes and have many flaws that I am constantly battling to improve. And I now choose not to factor in what anyone says about my work and the progress I make on a daily basis. I’m shooting for all the A+(s) I can get!

WL&L,

Wendy